It was true then that it was regulated, not by the woman's feelings or
anguish, but by the man's inclination and whether or no the world should
hold him responsible. And he realized that this latter reason was the
force which now prevented his breaking his engagement with Mrs.
Cricklander. He had behaved with supreme selfishness in the beginning,
and afterwards with a weakness which would always make him writhe when
he thought of it.
His self-respect was receiving a crushing blow. He clasped his thin
hands and his head sank forward upon his breast in utter dejection; he
closed his eyes as if to shut out too painful pictures. And when he
opened them again it was darker, and the moon made misty shadows through
the trees, and out of them he seemed to see Halcyone's face quite close
to him. It was tender and pitiful and full of love. The hallucination
was so startlingly vivid that he almost fancied her lips moved, and she
whispered: "Courage, beloved." Then he knew that he was dreaming, and
that he was gazing into space--alone.
CHAPTER XXIX
Mrs.
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