Lately this had changed,
especially towards Polly, and it flattered her more than she would
confess even to herself. She knew he admired her one talent,
respected her independence, and enjoyed her society; but when
something warmer and more flattering than admiration, respect, or
pleasure crept into his manner, she could not help seeing that one
of the good gifts of this life was daily coming more and more
within her reach, and began to ask herself if she could honestly
receive the gift, and reward the giver.
At first she tried to think she could, but unfortunately hearts are so
"contrary" that they won't be obedient to reason, will, or even
gratitude. Polly felt a very cordial friendship for Mr. Sydney, but
not one particle of the love which is the only coin in which love
can be truly paid. Then she took a fancy into her head that she
ought to accept this piece of good fortune for the sake of the
family, and forget herself. But this false idea of self-sacrifice did
not satisfy, for she was not a fashionable girl trained to believe that
her first duty was to make "a good match" and never mind the
consequences, though they rendered her miserable for life.
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