Hans Fooss,
our beloved Professor of Pachydermatology sat for hours weeping into his
noodle soup. As for me, I was both furious and frightened, for, within
the hearing of several people, Professor Bottomly had remarked in a very
clear voice to her new assistant, Dr. Daisy Delmour, that she intended to
get rid of me for the good of the Bronx because of my reputation for
indiscreet gallantry among the feminine employees of the Bronx Society.
Professor Lezard overhead that outrageous remark and he hastened to
repeat it to me.
I was lunching at the time in my private office in the Administration
Building with Dr. Hans Fooss--he and I being too busy dissecting an
unusually fine specimen of Dingue to go to the Rolling Stone Inn for
luncheon--when Professor Lezard rushed in with the scandalous libel still
sizzling in his ears.
"Everybody heard her say it!" he went on, wringing his hands. "It was a
most unfortunate thing for anybody to say about you before all those
young ladies. Every stenographer and typewriter there turned pale and
then red."
"What!" I exclaimed, conscious that my own ears were growing large and
hot. "Did that outrageous woman have the bad taste to say such a thing
before all those sensitive girls!"
"She did.
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