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Jacobs, W. W., 1863-1943

"Dual Control Ship's Company, Part 8."

"
"Or come in to wish you 'Many Happy Returns of the Day,'" said the
thrifty Mr. Sharp.
"And don't forget to get above yourself," said Mr. Culpepper, regarding
him sternly; "in a gentlemanly way, of course. Have as many glasses as
you like--there's no stint about me."
"If it ever comes off," said Mr. Sharp, rising--"if I get her through
you, you shan't have reason to repent it. I'll look after that."
Mr. Culpepper, whose feelings were a trifle ruffled, said that he would
"look after it too." He had a faint idea that, even from his own point
of view, he might have made a better selection for his niece's hand.
Mr. Sharp smoked his first cigarette the following morning, and,
encouraged by the entire absence of any after-effects, purchased a pipe,
which was taken up by a policeman the same evening for obstructing the
public footpath in company with a metal tobacco-box three parts full.
In the matter of ale he found less difficulty. Certainly the taste was
unpleasant, but, treated as medicine and gulped down quickly, it was
endurable. After a day or two he even began to be critical, and on
Monday evening went so far as to complain of its flatness to the wide-
eyed landlord of the "Royal George.


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