I cannot tell you how sorry I am, when I see how you
have compelled yourself to come and speak to me when you are so ill."
She staggered into a chair, for with all her wish for his speedy
dismissal, she was obliged to be seated. His hand was upon the bell.
"No, don't!" she said. "Wait a minute."
His eyes, bent upon her with a look of deep anxiety, touched her at that
moment, and she was on the point of shedding tears; but she checked
herself, and rose again.
"I will go," said he. "It is the kindest thing I can do. Only, may I
write? May I venture to write and urge what I have to say more
coherently?"
"No!" said she. "Don't write. I have given you my answer. We are
nothing, and can be nothing to each other. I am engaged to be married. I
should not have told you if you had not been so kind. Thank you. But go
now."
The poor young man's face fell, and he became almost as white as she was
for the instant. After a moment's reflection, he took her hand in his,
and said:
"May God bless you, and him too, whoever he be! But if you want a
friend, I may be that friend, may I not? and try to prove that my words
of regard were true, in a better and higher sense than I used them at
first." And kissing her passive hand, he was gone and she was left
sitting alone.
But solitude was not what she could bear. She went quickly upstairs, and
took a strong dose of sal-volatile, even while she heard Miss Monro
calling to her.
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