Now,
it may be my fault, it may be in my temperament, to be anxious, above
all things earthly, to obtain and possess a high reputation. I can
only say that it is so, and leave you to blame me for my weakness as
much as you like. But anything that might come in between me and this
object would, I own, be ill tolerated by me; the very dread of such an
obstacle intervening would paralyse me. I should become irritable,
and, deep as my affection is, and always must be, towards you, I could
not promise you a happy, peaceful life. I should be perpetually
haunted by the idea of what might happen in the way of discovery and
shame. I am the more convinced of this from my observation of your
father's altered character--an alteration which I trace back to the
time when I conjecture that the secret affairs took place to which you
have alluded. In short, it is for your sake, my dear Ellinor, even
more than for my own, that I feel compelled to affix a final meaning
to the words which your father addressed to me last night, when he
desired me to leave his house for ever. God bless you, my Ellinor,
for the last time my Ellinor. Try to forget as soon as you can the
unfortunate tie which has bound you for a time to one so unsuitable--I
believe I ought to say so unworthy of you--as--RALPH CORBET.
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