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Kipling, Rudyard, 1865-1936

"Traffics and Discoveries"

But, buck up,' he said, 'we've all
had mighty close calls'--shaves, he called 'em, I remember. 'Look at my
pants.'
"They was repaired right across the seat with Minneapolis flour-bagging. I
could see the stencil.
"'I ain't bluffing,' he says. 'Get the hospital returns, Doc.'
"The doctor gets 'em and reads 'em out under the proper dates. That doctor
alone was worth the price of admission.
"I was right pleased right through that I hadn't killed any of these
cheerful kids; but none the less I couldn't help thinking that a few more
Kaffirs would have served me just as well for advertising purposes as
white men. No, sir. Anywhichway you regard the proposition, twenty-one
casualties after months of close friendship like ours was--paltry.
"They gave me taffy about the gun--the British use taffy where we use
sugar. It's cheaper, and gets there just the same. They sat around and
proved to me that my gun was too good, too uniform--shot as close as a
Mannlicher rifle.
"Says one kid chewing a bit of grass: 'I counted eight of your shells,
Sir, burst in a radius of ten feet. All of 'em would have gone through one
waggon-tilt. It was beautiful,' he says. 'It was too good.'
"I shouldn't wonder if the boys were right. My Laughtite is too
mathematically uniform in propelling power. Yes; she was too good for this
refractory fool of a country. The training gear was broke, too, and we had
to swivel her around by the trail.


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