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Kipling, Rudyard, 1865-1936

"Traffics and Discoveries"

They slung
it from the muzzle of the port poop quick-firer thort-ships to a
stanchion. Then the old man flickered up, smokin' a cigarette, an' brought
'is stern to an anchor slow an' oriental.
"'What a blessin' it is, Mr. Ducane,' 'e says to our sub-lootenant, 'to be
out o' sight o' the 'ole pack o' blighted admirals! What's an admiral
after all?' 'e says. 'Why, 'e's only a post-captain with the pip, Mr.
Ducane. The drill will now proceed. What O! Antonio, _descendez_ an' get
me a split.'
"When Antonio came back with the whisky-an'-soda, he was told off to swing
the 'ammick in slow time, an' that massacritin' small-arm party went on
with their oratorio. The Sergeant had been kindly excused from
participating an' he was jumpin' round on the poop-ladder, stretchin' 'is
leather neck to see the disgustin' exhibition an' cluckin' like a ash-
hoist. A lot of us went on the fore an' aft bridge an' watched 'em like
'Listen to the Band in the Park.' All these evolutions, I may as well tell
you, are highly unusual in the Navy. After ten minutes o' muckin' about,
Glass 'ere--pity 'e's so drunk!--says that 'e'd had enough exercise for
'is simple needs an' he wants to go 'ome. Mr. Ducane catches him a
sanakatowzer of a smite over the 'ead with the flat of his sword. Down
comes Glass's rifle with language to correspond, and he fiddles with the
bolt. Up jumps Maclean--'oo was a Gosport 'ighlander--an' lands on Glass's
neck, thus bringin' him to the deck, fully extended.


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