I was alone, as before, with my misery.
CHAPTER VI
Left alone on the wild heath, I gave free current to my countless
tears, relieving my heart from an ineffably weary weight. But I saw no
bound, no outlet, no end to my intolerable misery, and I drank besides
with savage thirst of the fresh poison which the unknown had poured
into my wounds. When I called the image of Mina before my soul, and
the dear, sweet form appeared pale and in tears, as I saw her last in
my shame, then stepped, impudent and mocking, Rascal's shadow between
her and me; I covered my face and fled through the wild. Yet the
hideous apparition left me not, but pursued me in my flight, till I
sank breathless on the ground, and moistened it with a fresh torrent
of tears.
And all for a shadow! And this shadow a pen-stroke could have obtained
for me! I thought over the strange proposition and my refusal. All
was chaos in me. I had no longer either discernment or faculty of
comprehension.
The day went along. I stilled my hunger with wild fruits, my thirst
in the nearest mountain stream. The night fell; I lay down beneath a
tree. The damp morning awoke me out of a heavy sleep in which I heard
myself rattle in the throat as in death. Bendel must have lost all
trace of me, and it rejoiced me to think so. I would not return again
amongst men before whom I fled in terror, like the timid game of the
mountains.
Pages:
448
449
450
451
452
453
454
455
456
457
458
459
460
461
462
463
464
465
466
467
468
469
470
471
472