Bendel, since I have dreamed out my long dream, and have
awoke in myself, all is well with me; since then I crave not, and fear
not, death. Since then, I reflect calmly on the past and the future.
Is it not also with a still inward happiness that you now, in so
devout a manner, serve your master and friend?"
"Thank God, yes, noble lady. But we have seen wonderful things; we
have unwarily drunk much good, and bitter woes, out of the full cup.
Now it is empty, and we may believe that the whole has been only a
trial, and, armed with wise discernment, awaits the real beginning.
The real beginning is of another fashion; and we wish not back the
first jugglery, and are on the whole glad, such as it was, to have
lived through it. I feel also within me a confidence that it must now
be better than formerly with our old friend."
"Within me too," replied the lovely widow, and then passed on.
The conversation left a deep impression upon me, but I was undecided
in myself whether I should make myself known or depart hence
unrecognized. I took my resolve. I requested paper and pencil, and
wrote these words--"It is indeed better with your old friend now than
formerly, and if he does penance it is the penance of reconciliation."
Hereupon I desired to dress myself, as I found myself stronger. The
key of the small wardrobe which stood near my bed was brought, and I
found therein all that belonged to me.
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