He gets the names of good wits, and utters them for his
companions. He confesseth vices that he is guiltless of, if they be in
fashion; and dares not salute a man in old clothes, or out of fashion.
There is not a public assembly without him, and he will take any pains
for an acquaintance there. In any show he will be one, though he be but
a whiffler or a torch-bearer, and bears down strangers with the story of
his actions. He handles nothing that is not rare, and defends his
wardrobe, diet, and all customs, with intituling their beginnings from
princes, great soldiers, and strange nations. He dare speak more than he
understands, and adventures his words without the relief of any seconds.
He relates battles and skirmishes as from an eyewitness, when his eyes
thievishly beguiled a ballad of them. In a word, to make sure of
admiration, he will not let himself understand himself, but hopes fame
and opinion will be the readers of his riddles.
A TIMIST
Is a noun adjective of the present tense. He hath no more of a
conscience than fear, and his religion is not his but the prince's. He
reverenceth a courtier's servant's servant; is first his own slave, and
then whosesoever looketh big. When he gives he curseth, and when he
sells he worships. He reads the statutes in his chamber, and wears the
Bible in the streets; he never praiseth any, but before themselves or
friends; and mislikes no great man's actions during his life. His New
Year's gifts are ready at Allhallowmas, and the suit he meant to
meditate before them.
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