He has no mercy on any man's ears or
patience that he can get within his sphere of activity, but tortures
him, as they correct boys in Scotland, by stretching their lugs without
remorse. He is like an earwig; when he gets within a man's ear he is not
easily to be got out again. He will stretch a story as unmercifully as
he does the ears of those he tells it to, and draw it out in length like
a breast of mutton at the Hercules pillars, or a piece of cloth set on
the tenters, till it is quite spoiled and good for nothing. If he be an
orator that speaks _distincte et ornate_, though not _apte_, he delivers
his circumstances with the same mature deliberation that one that drinks
with a gusto swallows his wine, as if he were loth to part with it
sooner than he must of necessity; or a gamester that pulls the cards
that are dealt him one by one, to enjoy the pleasure more distinctly of
seeing what game he has in his hand. He takes so much pleasure to hear
himself speak, that he does not perceive with what uneasiness other men
endure him, though they express it ever so plainly; for he is so
diverted with his own entertainment of himself, that he is not at
leisure to take notice of any else. He is a siren to himself, and has no
way to escape shipwreck but by having his mouth stopped instead of his
ears. He plays with his tongue as a cat does with her tail, and is
transported with the delight he gives himself of his own making. He
understands no happiness like that of having an opportunity to show his
abilities in public, and will venture to break his neck to show the
activity of his eloquence; for the tongue is not only the worst part of
a bad servant, but of an ill master that does not know how to govern it;
for then it is like Guzman's wife, very headstrong and not sure of foot.
Pages:
408
409
410
411
412
413
414
415
416
417
418
419
420
421
422
423
424
425
426
427
428
429
430
431
432