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Harte, Bret, 1836-1902

"Mr. Jack Hamlin's Mediation"


"I've coom here to get ye to put into your paaper a warnin', a notiss,
that onless she returns to my house in four weeks, I'll have nowt to do
wi' her again."
"Oh!" said the editor, now perfectly reassured, "you want an
advertisement? That's the business of the foreman; I'll call him." He
was rising from his seat when the stranger laid a heavy hand on his
shoulder and gently forced him down again.
"Noa, lad! I don't want noa foreman nor understrappers to take this job.
I want to talk it over wi' you. Sabe? My woife she bin up and awaa these
six months. We had a bit of difference, that ain't here nor there, but
she skedaddled outer my house. I want to give her fair warning, and let
her know I ain't payin' any debts o' hers arter this notiss, and I ain't
takin' her back arter four weeks from date."
"I see," said the editor glibly. "What's your wife's name?"
"Eliza Jane Dimmidge."
"Good," continued the editor, scribbling on the paper before him;
"something like this will do: 'Whereas my wife, Eliza Jane Dimmidge,
having left my bed and board without just cause or provocation, this
is to give notice that I shall not be responsible for any debts of her
contracting on or after this date.


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