"Don't! Oh, don't take it so to heart! It seems impossible--after
all this time----"
"Impossible or not, it _is_!" he replied impetuously. "Mrs.
Hannaford, you will do something for me. You will let me come down
to Malvern, whilst she is with you, and see her--speak with her
alone."
She drew back, astonished.
"Oh! how can you think of it, Mr. Otway?"
"Why should I not?" he spoke in a low and soft voice, but with
vehemence. "Does she know all about me?"
"Everything. It was not I who told her. There has been talk----"
"Of course there has"--he smiled--"and I am glad of it. I wished
her to know. Otherwise, I should have told her. Yes, I should have
told her! It shocks you, Mrs. Hannaford? But try to understand what
this means to me. It is the one thing I greatly desire in all the
world, shall I be hindered by a petty consideration of etiquette? A
wild desire--you think. Well, the man sentenced to execution
clings to life, clings to it with a terrible fierce desire; is it
less real because utterly hopeless? Perhaps I am behaving
frantically; I can't help myself. As that engagement is still
doubtful--you admit it to be doubtful--I shall speak before it
is too late. Why not have done so before? Simply, I hadn't the
courage. I suppose I was too young. It didn't mean so much to me as
it does now. Something tells me to act like a man, before it is too
late.
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