Every
sentence has given me its full meaning. I didn't need to be near her
to study her. She was in my mind; I heard her and saw her whenever I
wished; as I have grown older and more experienced in life, I have
been better able to understand her. I used to think this was enough.
I had--you know--that exalted sort of mood; Dante's Beatrice,
and all that! It _was_ enough for the time, seeing that I lived with
it, and through it. But now--no! And there is no single reason why
I should be ashamed to stand before her, and tell her that--What I
feel."
He checked himself, and gloomed for an instant, then continued in
another tone:
"Yet that isn't true. There _are_ reasons--I believe no man living
could say that when speaking of such a woman as Irene Derwent. I
cannot face her without shame--the shame of every man who stands
before a pure-hearted girl. We have to bear that, and to hide it as
best we can."
The listener bent upon him a wondering gaze, and seemed unable to
avert it, till his look answered her.
"You will give me this opportunity, Mrs. Hannaford?" he added
pleadingly.
"I have no right whatever to refuse it. Besides, how could I, if I
wished?
"When shall I come? I must remember that I am not free to wander
about. If it could be a Sunday----"
"I have forgotten something I ought to have told you already," said
Mrs. Hannaford. "Whilst she was on her travels, Irene had an offer
from someone else.
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