Accordingly, after a vast amount
of moaning and crying upstairs, and much damping of foreheads, and
vinegaring of temples, and hartshorning of noses, and so forth;
and after most pathetic adjurations from Miggs, assisted by warm
brandy-and-water not over-weak, and divers other cordials, also of
a stimulating quality, administered at first in teaspoonfuls and
afterwards in increasing doses, and of which Miss Miggs herself partook
as a preventive measure (for fainting is infectious); after all these
remedies, and many more too numerous to mention, but not to take,
had been applied; and many verbal consolations, moral, religious, and
miscellaneous, had been super-added thereto; the locksmith humbled
himself, and the end was gained.
'If it's only for the sake of peace and quietness, father,' said Dolly,
urging him to go upstairs.
'Oh, Doll, Doll,' said her good-natured father. 'If you ever have a
husband of your own--'
Dolly glanced at the glass.
'--Well, WHEN you have,' said the locksmith, 'never faint, my darling.
More domestic unhappiness has come of easy fainting, Doll, than from all
the greater passions put together. Remember that, my dear, if you would
be really happy, which you never can be, if your husband isn't.
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