We may try, as thousands
have tried, and as thousands try still, to love God without loving
their neighbour; to be very religious, and worship God, and sing His
praises, and think over all His mercy to them, and all that he has
done for them, by the death of His blessed Son Jesus Christ; and so
to persuade themselves and God that they love Him, while they keep
in their hearts selfishness, pride, spite, uncharitableness: but
they do not succeed. If they think they succeed, they are only
deceiving themselves. So says St. John. 'He who loveth not his
brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not
seen?' But they cannot deceive themselves long. You will see, if
you watch such people, and still more if you watch yourselves, that
if you do not love your neighbours in spirit and in truth, then
those tormenting fears soon come back again, worse than ever. Ay,
whenever we indulge ourselves in hard words and cruel judgments, the
thought of God seems darkened to us there and then; the face of God
seems turned from us; and peace of mind and brightness of spirit,
and lightness of soul, do not come back to us, till we have
confessed our sins, and have let the kindly, the charitable, the
merciful thoughts rise up in us once more, as, by the grace of
Christ, they will rise up.
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